1.     absentee ballot ___

A.    The process by which Americans are quadrennially reminded of Iowa's existence.

2.     ballot ___

B.     A better-paid legislator.

3.     caucus ___

C.     A person who willingly communicates with the elderly.

4.     convention ___

D.    Individuals who are very savvy politically, but don't have enough hair to run for office themselves.

5.     electoral college ___

E.     A form of voting that does not involve the inconvenience of having to get up off the couch and walk to a high school gymnasium.

6.     lobbyist ___

F.      An object recording a voter's decision that is frequently counted toward an election's outcome.

7.     voter apathy ___

G.    The reason most American politicians are able to achieve and maintain office.

8.     likability ___

H.    A process by which the number of states in the Union is narrowed down to the most important seven or eight.

9.     political consultants ___

I.       The degree to which each candidate is able to hide the extent to which he or she is full of s***

10.      pollster ___

J.       The best four-day-long chance a politically active, overweight Kia salesman from Tulsa has to nail one of them blond Fox anchors.